Think before you post, would ya, please?

Facebook. As loved and abused as this social website is, many people are annoyed by certain aspects of it. Maybe the hundreds of applications bother you, or maybe people you hate or never really knew trying to add you as a friend annoy you. For me, girls who use Facebook to advertise themselves as alcoholic party animals grind my gears. They also amuse me, though.

I love my friends. I love hanging out on a deck on a warm summer day with a couple of drinks. I also enjoy checking out a bar with some buddies. But I don't feel the need to litter my Facebook profile with pictures of myself passing out on a random street corner. Nor do I feel the need to record and post a video of myself chugging tequila like it was Coca-Cola. Frankly, I don't see the appeal of it, and I don't picture anybody seeing that on my page and saying to themselves, "He seems like a really cool dude". No, he seems like a joke of a human being.

I personally get a kick out of girls who change their away messages to things like, "Can't wait to party this weekend!! Gonna be sooooooo sick!" Meanwhile, I notice the message was written on Tuesday morning. Really? Can you not wait four days? Lord knows your last weekend started late Thursday afternoon, and didn't end until Monday morning when you flushed the remnants of your own vomit down the kitchen sink. But I suppose giving your liver a three-day break is a real drag!

I also thoroughly enjoy watching a video of a girl literally being carried away by several of her friends because she was too hammered to walk. Personally, I find incoherence extremely sexy in a woman. Who wants to be with a girl who can form a sentence? Screw that! Or the best is a video of a girl being carried to her room by some perverted, steroid-abusing man. He drops her on his bed, she bounces off, and hits her head on the edge of a desk. There's nothing cuter than a bump the size of Peru on your forehead, I can tell you that much.

Or here's a beautiful young woman enjoying the scenery in the bathroom:



Ahhhhh, then there's the groups. If you ever want to know what a girl is like, take a look at the groups she's in. I think some my favourites are, "I know I have a problem with alcohol but I like it", "Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol", or perhaps the classiest of all, "My alcohol tolerance is higher than my G.P.A.". Hey, I've got an idea for a group: "I'm going nowhere in life." How's that one sound?

Let me say this: by no means am I straight edge. I may be a loser and a morbid beast, but I am not straight edge. All I'm saying is that there's no need to alert the Facebook world that the majority of your thoughts revolve around your insatiable appetite to party. Anyway, it's Monday, so I'm off to my campus pub. I only have to wake up at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning! (Ladies, that's called sarcasm. Put the drink down, and grab a dictionary.)